Sunday, December 31, 2006

Disturbance

I have both eyes opened but I’m still lying on my queen-sized bed with the right side of my face dropped on the sheets. The pillows are gone, that was already expected. All things that were on my bed last night are either gone or in totally different position as if Milenyo just mercilessly blustered my room. That’s all because I usually sleep like a cyclone, always startling. I heard knocks but I’m still too drained to response to the disturbance. I laid still, no movements but my eyes. I heard whispers and I realized the radio is still on in my phone. I checked the screen of my computer and I could see Paris Hilton staring back. I bet my iPod is still connected to the USB port. I was that pooped last night that I just fell asleep leaving all disorganized. It would take a thousand more words to explain all that transpired yesterday. One thing was relevant though, a real disturbance just occurred—my latest EX came back for good. It was definitely unexpected and out of the plan but the event will obviously challenge the whole abstinence stuff dramatically. And just in case someone’s wondering, we had sex and we surely loved it. (See: Abstinence starts from the 1st of January!)

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Dead Serious

Some are doubtful about my plan to abstain from any sexual activities. No matter how hard I tried to explain my cause, their skepticism always fills the air. Just because they heard about my one-time foursome experience, they always look at me as if I’m a walking phallus looking up to mingle with another phallus. I mean I know I’m promiscuous and there were times that I tend to be so aggressive but I was never addicted to sex. The reason why sometimes I feel like talking about my sexual experiences is because I feel like it’s something that needs to be fully understood. It should not be treated as if it’s bizarre to everyone—acting as such is so moronic to me. Conservatism? Culture? Whatever you call it, it’s something I may never understand. I mean try to scan deeper. And you’ll find yourself enthralled by the kind of culture that exists in this society from the ubiquitous wannabe socialites to the prevalent Filipino servility to foreign ideas. Indeed, we have become so untrue to ourselves, as Felix B. Bautista would put it. It would probably hurt to take the first step but I am dead serious in this experimentation that starting on the 1st of January up to the 31st of March of 2007, I will abstain from any sexual activity. I may lose my focus for sacrifice was never in my vocabulary but this BLOG will always remind me of my once determined spirit.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Paris Hilton-inspired self-imposed celibacy

Paris Hilton wannabe? No, not really. For one, I don’t have the money to burn for I’m just a typical Juan dela Cruz who inherited nothing but the traditional Filipino parents’ desperate legacy to their numerous children—education, a run-of-the-mill education to say the least. Abstinence from sex for the first quarter of 2007 is a decision I made after carefully cramming the roads I traveled—and the humps I bumped into—in 2006. It seems that I indulged too much in sex with no special underpinnings for I can’t feel that unique connection I’ve been looking forward to. Like when you reach the climax, it’s over! All were simply sexual desires. I realized that I was traversing this long and winding road for the longest time now and even ignored all the signs along the way. The domino effect took place and it looks like there’s no stopping. As a result, no moving forward happened, no progress. I felt like I was left behind…unnoticed! So let me call it hitting the brake.

Sexual activities consumed a big portion of my journey that it has turned into a daily agendum. It created a delightful but alarmingly thick black hole, a real assassin of time. It killed hours that could have been spent wisely in becoming more dynamic and creative (in other useful things, not sex). However, I am not against sex (and in being sexually creative for that matter). It’s just that there is that small thing within us (voice within?) that is more worthy of our full attention, a thing that requires a little sacrifice. It could be your short-term goal that you can hardly achieve like losing that excessive pounds or gaining weight. It could be a person, a thing, love…it could be anything, anything that could give you that different level of happiness. Hopefully, this will lead me to that end.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Blog's Prelude

POINTLESS! But I was hopeful so I waited. “Go with the flow,” I said. I tried to stand still…undisturbed and eager. I attempted to examine. I looked for several ways to see a clearer direction. Unfortunately, things led me to nowhere. Though I’ve been to several same sex relationships already, my entire love life thing could be summarized as ONE BIG JOKE.

Have I cried for someone? Hell, no. In fact, I was never wounded—it’s actually the other way around. But it was never my intention to hurt them either, all were just a matter of wisely gripping the status quo. Some of them may be literally suckers for they just took advantage of my innocence. Some are
suckers for they wanted only sex. They’re all suckers, yeah. But each worked differently. Nevertheless, I always wanted to befriend them during the post-relationship period with no sour grapes and bitterness traced behind. But some could not just take it that easy for they always thought they were only played. Or perhaps they’re just simply boorish and naturally bitter. Fortunately, I can easily shake that off like dandruffs on my shoulder. INSENSITIVITY reigns! But no, I am sensitive. I am may be conceited but I have feelings. I am a mysterious ocean; you have to look deeper to appreciate all the wonders.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Experiment 2007

Simply Manila is my personal blog. Before this even became Simply Manila, this started as a simple online journal, although some of the entries have been deleted including the original content of this very post. I started this blog to engage myself in writing about anything under the sun, but as time goes by, this evolved into what it is today, an online library of men. I originally called this blog Experiment 2007, and changed it to Simply Manila to supposedly feature anything about Metro Manila.