Worlds Apart 1: Gay Stereotypes

I usually don’t hang out with gays and would always like to break from gay stereotypes. Though, ironically, I hang out with girls and act like a metrosexual which would usually stir a lot of controversial thoughts from new peers. In general, newly met acquaintances expect us to talk about our sexuality but those who don’t have enough nerve to ask (or who are professional enough to know about respect) will just resort to calling you a paminta (a Filipino slang for closeted homosexuals) behind your back. This own defiance of gay typecasts incapacitated me to discover more of the gay world. Not until recently.

In an attempt to save myself from total gay world clueless-ness, I convinced my Aso to befriend his gay neighbors and hang out with them regularly. In the following few days, I also hang out with them. Their lifestyle totally differed from ours with the exemption of a few members. They dress like ladies, grow their tresses long and seek affection from straight guys. They are women trapped in a man’s body, so to speak. They answered a lot of questions from us and ask a lot of questions in return.

I looked up to the sky and thought of how much wonders are yet to be discovered. That night, I just discovered one. The wonder of knowing that the gay world is actually divided into two worlds: the gays who actually consider themselves women (pa-girl, effeminate or effems) and the gays who actually consider themselves men (pa-men or paminta). But I knew about this already, you say. I know that there is a difference between these worlds, too, but if you delve on or simply listen to each other’s opinions, you will know that the difference is surprisingly bigger than you think.

“Mas balahura ‘yung mga paminta kaysa sa mga bakla,” said Weng without hesitation. It may be uncouth but it was, for me, an honest observation. Weng is a 28-year-old effeminate homosexual working in a hair salon. He shows distaste over group sex and orgies – something he thought to be exclusive to pamintas only. He’s single but sleeps with guys regularly and had boyfriends in the past. He said he needs to have money to sleep with guys or have boyfriends. And that’s just something I wouldn’t do. For him, and for the others who agree with him, it is reality. They seem to be happy with their lives but somehow, I felt sorry for them.

When effems pay straight guys for a service, will they simply suck these guys’ penises? Can they kiss their lips? You will be surprised on how much they can do for money. That and all in the continuation of this post next week…