Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Promiscuous Gay Guy
I knew I have been a little promiscuous when I was still in the early years of being gay. I used to have multiple partners. I have engaged in different sexual experimentations. I searched for love. But somehow I felt like I greatly failed in this department. I did not care. I was a little aggressive. I was a little innocent. But that was then, and today is different.
I may sound like I am always sure when I say things, but the flip side always lies within. While we were traveling down to Manila from the city of the sky (Antipolo City) early this morning, I suddenly felt that something is going wrong again. I felt revived by the cool ambience of the city when we stayed there late yesterday until early this morning. But whether I like it or not, I have to return to the usual sound of Manila to come home. That alone may explain why I was feeling something odd today. But no matter how I convince or dissuade myself, I know, in my heart, that the strange feeling is pretty more than that.
It was on our way home when I got to appreciate the beauty of the city even more. Its tranquil ambience reminds me of Baguio City (though honestly, I have never been there my entire life) and the same cozy environment gives them an edge over any city in the provinces of Cavite, Laguna or Bulacan, though Antipolo doesn’t have enough interesting icons to boast. (You know, most tourists prefer those.)
It was freezing up there in the morning and as we go through the seemingly fine road, I got so cheerless while thinking about leaving the place this quick. Then my mind started to wander somewhere else again. What could have gone possibly wrong? I started thinking about love again, but like a hazy mosaic, I saw a lot of faces fading one after another. I was staring at the road blankly. Surprisingly, I discovered a funny logic in there. That love has always been there like a road. There are too many of them, I know. But make sure you’re traveling the right one. I failed in the love department many times already. I searched for it, that’s why I found some. But I took all those roads at once, so there was no clear direction, and they died a natural death.
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