Sunday, January 28, 2007

Made To Be Broken

Had I ever thought of staying in a seminary, the farthest that I could keep the rule of celibacy would be two weeks. Few more days inside and you’ll find me dead of cilice. I have to confess that the abstinence days were over. I violated my own rules, slapped my own face and betrayed the “voice within”.

The last time that I did it was inside a sauna. You might think it’s the last thing you would ever do, the craziest of all. Let me start by telling that I thought the same way too. But there I was, sitting on the boards of the sauna as if sunbathing in Puerto Galera. And there he was, giving me the lewdest stare I could ever imagine. I closed my eyes, trying to keep away from the idea that never came to mind in the last 21 years. In scenarios like this, I would normally just wait for the other end to initiate and show him later that I could play the game just right. And so, he started the time of his life when he launched to loosen the towel covering his and mine.

I knew it was a risky business but I never thought that such an experience could intensify the feeling in my extremities. The possibility of getting caught in action added the tension but multiplied the fun. No doubt it brought out the devil in me.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

I will get a zero for effort!

Yet again, the clout of imagination took me somewhere I never thought I would be. It was a never-ending maze, a place full of uncertainties. But each step I made was done fearlessly, as if all things that lie ahead are nothing but great opportunities. The opposite scenarios may happen but those are not surprising at all because life on earth has always been like that since time immemorial. If there is a single secret behind my blissful attitude, it is probably because I always take things easily—that everything happened for a reason. I used to call that attitude as being optimistic, but a professor changed the whole thing dramatically when he called me a defeatist. It wounded me deep inside but no one ever noticed that, because one pleasant smile concealed all the bedlam. It added more weights to the insensitive side of the scale which eventually affected my entire social life.

There was a time when other’s emotions did not matter to me at all when making decisions. I learned politics the wrong way, because it was my belief that you have to set aside your emotional features to come up with fair judgment (just like how legal officials do). This attributed to my once careless attitude which according to an ex (or friend if you by a million chance could ask him), I will get a zero for effort. He made me wondered for a moment, and I realized that I never considered some of his hopes for an ideal relationship. He has his basis but he made me realized that each person would sometimes generalize based on their sole discretion and expectations.

It wouldn’t hurt if we also consider the other side of the spectrum. It is possible that a person is only hesitant, undecided or calls for an end of something, enough reason why he or she would act differently or against another person’s expectations. Why would you dare to make an effort if you knew it’s a dead end? I would rather take the never-ending maze, and live it to the fullest.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

The sexy Joem Bascon

It’s just about will and perseverance. As far as I could remember, that was the only advice I shared to a friend who’s been so indolent to do what she’s supposed to do at Red Corner. We were all in the middle of a non-sense conversation inside that gym when a very cute guy passed by. Suddenly, all of us fell into such a bizarre silence, and threw looks and smiles at each other as if actually conversing about this young hunk. The previous topic was trashed and was eventually replaced about the chap.

Minutes later, my indolent friend asked how old the guy is and he quickly responded that he’s 20 years old, which left all of us bursting in laughter. Because prior to that, we were all guessing about his age and none of our speculations match to what he actually said. Later on, we found out that his name is Joem Bascon. It was actually me who insisted to get his name because I was thinking of Bim Cecilio that time. Since I was a bit aware that he appears on ABS-CBN's Let’s Go, we eventually had an easy conversation. He said he will be part of the cast of the upcoming series Walang Kapalit, starring Claudine Barretto and Piolo Pascual.

Here’s what I got from the web: He stands 5 feet 9, and at 20, he's not exactly a 'kid' anymore, but Joseph Emmanuel “Joem” Bascon is the newest Kapamilya on the block. The Piolo Pascual look-alike recently signed up with Star Magic and has guested on various ABS-CBN shows… He was discovered by accident, when his family home in Antipolo was used as the location for the primetime soap Hiram. Although the Bascon family lives in Mandaluyong, they also have a home in Antipolo, and when he was spotted by someone from ABS-CBN, Joem decided to give up on his original dream of playing competitive basketball and pursue a showbiz career.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Irresistibly Gorgeous

It took me a while, it always does. I stared at my bedroom’s wall thinking when the right words will pour in. I tried to look beyond, thought deeper until I came across with nothing but darkness. What’s inside my head certainly bleeds, probably praying for an end to the intensity caused by simple ambitions. Slowly, I saw the place lit up as if the sunset hesitated to vanish and came back. But there was silence, and I was alone. I looked around, felt safe but at times uncertain. It seemed that no one could break the silence.

My head slightly dropped and I was forced to open my eyes, the heavy traffic and hysterical drivers were enough chaos to suggest I was only dreaming. The sight easily pulled me back to reality. Dean Koontz’s Intensity was still on my lap, and my left hand on it. I was in a bus going home and there I saw him—fresh and young, irresistibly gorgeous and young, playful (later you’ll find out why) and young, and has really, really gorgeous chinito eyes…and yes, young—sitting right beside me. If you know Brandon Lee, just imagine him young. He was staring at the book that was on my lap, trying to catch the title. But then I found out that the book was not his only concern why he’s looking at that direction. I pretended that I was still asleep so I could verify my theories. Indeed, he trembled for a moment but went on to caress my elbow first and even put his hand over my left thigh. He saw me, and felt me. I moved my thigh up and down as if listening to Irreplaceable or Accidentally in Love, just so he could feel that I’m flirting back, and he was just too glad to continue his experimentation.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Restless

I was sitting near the corner and was staring at nothing—a diversion a friend thought unhealthy. But as someone who always defends himself, I tried to explain that I was only listening to the band’s vocals. We were inside R&B Revolution in Metrowalk spending the night with San Mig Lights, kamikazes, Smirnoffs, chicken lollipops and Virginia Slims—a good escape from the week-long drama as workaholics. There’s absolutely no room for silence, and that time, a band called Four filled the room with their own renditions of today’s R&B music. After one song, I was a bit surprise as they greeted me for my birthday (courtesy of my friends Dyne and Wally). But what we felt like doing actually was to take the dance floor and dance like there’s no tomorrow. So we did, after they switched from love songs to dance. Indeed, it felt like there’s no tomorrow. I got home at around 5am, and went ahead to sleep.

Later that day, I celebrated my 21st birthday as friends and relatives from different directions flooded into my crib. Yet again, the night was spent with almost the same scenario as the previous one, only that everyone looked dearly familiar.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

More Than Vanity

Three years back, a friend described me as someone who “doesn’t walk” but someone who “glides through the crowd with so much ease and confidence”. He thought it was probably just attributable to my training in the performing arts. Partly, he’s right. But it was more because I have a positive body image—that I totally have a real perception of how I truly look…and proud of it! You need not have a celebrity’s nose, a flawless skin, Janet Jackson’s smile or anything that equates to perfection just to have a positive body image. (I surely don’t have all those traits either!) It’s really just about being proud of yourself and comfortable of your body, no matter how you fare in terms of size, color or shape. Having the opposite feeling could lead you to emotional distress, low self-esteem, dieting, anxiety, depression and eating disorders.

Most people, if not all, are under pressure to measure up to a certain social and cultural ideal of beauty. Indeed, positive and negative comments mold me into someone more like the mythological character Narcissus, or according to a Canadian acquaintance, Mister Vanity. Through the years, I lost what I used to have and looms to the ambiguity of meeting everyone else’s expectations. Trivial notes made me too preoccupied with minor or imaginary flaws which, to my surprise, could lead to a serious illness called Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD).

What is beauty that everyone’s so anxious about it? According to Answers.com, beauty is the quality that gives pleasure to the mind or senses and is associated with such properties as harmony of form or color, excellence of artistry, truthfulness, and originality. In an interview for CNN’s Talk Asia, Imelda Marcos thought that beauty is not extravagance, beauty is life. Indeed, you can define it in any way you wanted for beauty has no one official definition; it is just as complex as you are.

SOURCE: Healthy Option's newsletter

Saturday, January 6, 2007

Not-So-Nice News

I spent 10 minutes browsing the web for possible feedbacks on wearing earrings for men. You will actually get millions of responses but I only read ones that are credible. The last quoted paragraph may not be applicable to the Philippines but the general thought suggests it might be. Too bad I just had my ear pierced for the second time.

I'm not sure if you're aware of this just yet, but earrings for men went out of style in the mid-'90s… If you're wearing earrings, then you'll probably disagree with my assessment about earrings, but believe me, everyone who sees you with metal in your earlobes thinks you're tawdry. (Austin Silver, Should Men Wear Jewelry?, AskMen.com)

Out of curiosity, I called Starbucks' Seattle... with a question: "Does Starbucks have a dress code?" In response I was told, "On the job we do not allow tattoos, tongue piercing, or more than one earring per ear." Why? Because Starbucks wants their employees "to have a certain demeanor," which in turn will "create a positive image and environment." To be sure, if Starbucks did not think it would hurt business, the successful corporate leader would not require its employees to leave their tongue piercing and tattoos at home. (Cathy Mickels, Body Piercing and Tattoos: Where Does the World End and the Church Begin?, 2 June 2004)

My Second Puncture

Five days and counting! So far, I feel auspicious about how things worked out for me. It turned out that forbidding my imagination run riot with hot bodies and sex images is rather uncomplicated as I thought it would be. The hot photos in Pinoy Hotties are not even enough to antagonize the plan. I hope that the same holds true in the upcoming days and weeks. But this is probably because I already have this mindset since December of 2006. My BABY is somewhat cooperative because I haven’t heard him complaining or tempting me to DO IT…only once! He’s also SWEETER this time, though I have this feeling that he’s just faking it. Cruel but he has to take a long course back to my heart.

I also just took a long course on my way back home today. Just hours ago, my left ear boasted another silver ornament after having its second puncture at Robinsons Galleria. A girl friend was quite surprised that it would take only a second to pierce an ear but she was also quasi-terrified to witness the “piercer” pulling the trigger of her gun-like gizmo while pointing to my ear. While in the bus, I almost fell asleep, though I slept early last night and had an easy day at work (aside from dealing with frantic politicians also known as co-TSRs).

I dropped by at Starbucks in SM North EDSA as well to have my pen exchanged with a working one and was forced to order a peppermint mocha frappuccino in a frenzied attempt to win over the barista’s good deed. It was thankfully a success. The truth is that I accidentally dropped the pen causing its failure. Well, if you will not play right with your charisma, you will hardly ever get a favor. (Or probably they’re just trying to keep their hard-earned dignity.)

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Regularization

I’ve been through a roller coaster-like ride for exactly 6 months now in a call center and just like the real roller coaster I experienced in the Enchanted Kingdom, I just can’t have enough. I still feel like repeating that matchless feeling of highness given the pressure it will fashion after. Honestly speaking, the past six months was not a smooth sail for me at work. I experienced a quite numerous ebbs and flows and have been downgraded several times. But I could say that I’m pretty much like a chameleon, I was able to change my color to become accustomed to the environment I belonged to. I also experienced being transferred from absolutely different campaign to another but I looked at it as an opportunity to grow, that it is for my career advancement.

Time also runs as fast as the roller coaster, it seems to me that it’s only yesterday when I headed to my first job application wearing “my best business attire ever undermining the culmination of the solar deities.” Who would ever think that I will be regularized after all the progressive disciplines, absences, late incidents and coaching tickets issued to me? Funny, but I would. The whole experience however taught me a lot about work ethics, and I’m definitely putting all in practice today.