Chasing Time

Did you ever feel like you’re running out of time in life? Did you ever feel like your job is wasting too much of your time? That you are improperly compensated? That you are no longer happy with what you are doing? I feel so afraid about confronting these questions right now, because I think it might create a negative vision in my head and might detrimentally affect my job performance. I’ve made impulsive decisions in the past and I have been working on fighting this kind of attitude so I won’t end up lamenting my own decisions. Exactly four months ago, I got promoted as a Subject Matter Expert (SME) and was given the privilege of handling a team for over two months. I had to work with 12 call center agents (one of them I instantly terminated for not showing up for over two weeks). Two months later, before the transition to the next Team Leader happened, only 9 agents were left—one got promoted as a Real-Time Analyst and another got terminated for call avoidance. Several people in the office detested my decision to terminate that agent, particularly those who can tolerate dishonesty and those who can easily sacrifice their integrity and name over mere friendship. But besides the fact that I was the reason for some people’s aversion, everything else that I did as a leader went well. I was happy and satisfied when I was handling a team, now I felt like slacking. Although I was told by my Group Manager that I will be promoted to a Team Leader post (and was asked to keep my fingers crossed which tells me it’s only a B plan or still needs approval from the upper management), I am still unsure as to what I really wanted to do at the moment. To be honest, I just wanted to have plenty of time so I could focus on my one (or two) true love: scriptwriting (or simply writing) and photography. But since I need to earn to be able to live and afford my level of comfort, I guess what I really need to sacrifice are these dreams of mine. Or, if I can do both, chase time and live a double life. Life is so short of time.